Just Too Soon….
It’s fairly safe to say that death is never welcomed, nor is it unavoidable in the circle of life. It often takes what we’ve come to know, as its “traditional” path. Many of us get into our 60s and start to see the first signs of the body slowing and or breaking down a bit. More serious challenges face us in our 70s and some of us succumb. Others are fortunate enough to make it into their 80s and perhaps 90s. In fact I just had an Aunt of my first wife, Aunt Pauline, celebrate her 100th.
The path is normally to be raised by your parents and grandparents perhaps. Then the grandparents pass on. Then your parents need taking care of and inevitably they pass away as well. It’s sad. It’s often painful. However, again this is the “traditional” path of life to death.
What isn’t the “traditional” path is children getting sick and dying. Parents burying their kids, whether babies or adults, is just something that doesn’t ever seem fair or right. It’s a pain that leaves a scar that I’m sure will ache every day for the rest of their lives.
The recent and sudden passing of WCBS-TV meteorologist Elise Finch is one those that just hits like a blind punch to your gut that takes your breath away. For those that may not know, Elise passed away suddenly last weekend at the young age of 51. She left behind a daughter Grace, her shining star, and husband Craig a WCBS photojournalist. It immediately conjured up the memories and the feelings of when I heard the news about my former WNBC colleague, Katherine Creag, who also passed away suddenly about two and a half years ago, at the age of 47, tragically leaving behind three young children and her husband.
These types of deaths are something I never seem to be able to wrap my head around. I search for the reason, as if there’s supposed to be one. Obviously I’m still dealing with trying to understand why my wife was taken from here at the young age of 54. While not so suddenly as Elise or Kat, it effectively was just as bad or worse as the inevitable was painfully drawn out for her and all of us who loved her.
Back to Elise for a moment. I can’t say we were good friends, although there is a kinship of sorts in this industry, especially among weather folks. We may be competitively friendly, but we have all shared the challenges of this type of career and have a brother/sisterhood in our unique paths. I did get to meet Elise at a weather conference in Boston several years ago. If my memory serves me, she had not been at WCBS at that point for maybe more than 2-3 years. When you first meet someone you only see from the TV perspective, you’re not sure what you’re going to get in person. With Elise I was immediately impressed by how down to earth she was. She was one of those people you meet for the first time, but feel as if you’ve known her all your life. We were in a little lounge area in the conference hotel along with friends Janice Huff and Audrey Puente. For a few minutes the conversation pattern just had Elise and I paired off and what really struck me was her incredibly quick sharp wit. I remember thinking, this girl is a firecracker and funny as hell. As I’ve heard and read tributes from her friends and co-workers, I see this was truly who she was.
It would have been nice to know her better, but I’m glad I have that little memory. Which brings me to the more positive purpose to this post. All of this is sad. Death is never joyous. For those with a strong faith perhaps it is celebrated more. However, to me, the fact is, the person is no longer here. Whether they are at peace or in some beautiful eternal place, we selfishly miss them back here in this life. That’s human nature.
My bigger point about this blog is to say we should not fear death, but more importantly we should not fear life! Death is the unknown inevitability which makes it tough for us to accept. Life however, is the gift. Every day, it is a gift. Even the days we wish we could turn back or skip over. Yes, the day of your colonoscopy is a gift. The day you got fired is a gift. Even the day you lose a loved one, is a gift……in time. The good days and obviously joyous occurrences in life are easy to see as gifts. It’s those darker days that we can’t understand so readily. Why me? Why them?
I don’t profess to have answers to those question. I’m just a simpleton human being. I do know, by listening to yourself during those times, and accepting and feeling the pain, the anguish, the anger, you gain strength in moving forward. It’s what I guess we call the school of hard knocks or tough lessons in life. It doesn’t bring the person back. It doesn’t eliminate the sadness or sense of loss, but knowing you are still here with life to live and celebrate is the lesson we need to learn.
Don’t live afraid of taking chances. Don’t ignore your heart or your dreams for fear of failure. So what? As long as you are alive, there is hope for something new and exciting to fulfill you. Maybe it’s just being able to slow down and grasp a sense of peace and take in the good things surrounding us. Don’t be afraid to live. The inevitable awaits at the end of your story, so write some amazing chapters while you still have the pen in hand….or should I say keyboard. You get the idea.
I will say that from all three of these women, Elise, Kat and my wife Nancy, from what I saw and hear from those around them, they LIVED life. They brought joy and love to others everyday. They are physically gone, but they passed that on to each one of us who can sit here today and smile reflecting on a memory of any of them.
So my final words on this, and I will step down from the soap box, use your life to live. Use your life to give. Our time here is precious and unknown, so when you slide open those heavy eyelids every morning to start a new day, remember how lucky we are to have another crack at doing something good. Celebrate your life in any little way, each and every day. Appreciate those around you and let them know it. We just never know when that opportunity may come to a sudden close.
Watch a sunrise or sunset quietly. Listen to the rain cascading off the leaves of a tree. Rub your fingers on a lavender bush and take in that amazing smell. It’s all there each day, but we understandably get caught up in the sometimes incorrectly prioritized things in life. That’s OK. Just remember to hit the reset button often enough to go back to the basics.
Finally to the family, friends and colleagues of Elsie Finch, my heartfelt condolences, thoughts and prayers to heal, to grow and to smile again, knowing you are better because she touched your lives.
Thanks for getting this far……. Sunshine Always!!!!