We last left off as I prepared to meet for a lunch date in the East Village. I’m not going to recap here, so if you are reading this and don’t know what I’m talking about, please go back to the previous blog titled “Starting Over”, or to really understand the blog before that……and the blog before that…and the ….you get the idea.
So as I walked into the cafe, she was already seated at the table. It wasn’t a blind date as we had met before in Chicago. I will just say the lighting in the restaurant in the middle of the day was quite a bit brighter than in the bar that night in Chi-town.
I remember sitting down reminding myself this was not a “real” date. Of course I don’t know what you would call it if it wasn’t, but I guess I was in a little denial. Maybe this was too soon for me. Well at least it was companionship and possibly meeting someone new to explore life a bit.
I must admit upon spending a couple of minutes of idle chatter and settling in, I knew this was going nowhere in the romance department. At this point, not necessarily looking for that, she was a smart successful woman, so maybe just a nice friendship would develop.
As the conversation continued I remembered getting the same sense I got that night in the bar. She was a bit chilly and reserved and definitely protecting herself. Of course I didn’t know her history at this point, so who knows the reasons behind that. Why should she suddenly be so comfortable and accepting of me. I’m thinking, “come on….I’m the weather guy you see on TV in the morning…you can trust me”. That’s a laugh, right.
Bottom line was, I decided to let her do most of the talking. I know a certain someone I’m with now who would laugh at that notion and wish I would go back to that philosophy. The conversation was a bit dry and boring. She did not seem that into me as I really don’t recall her asking anything about me. That was fine and it made it easy to say goodbye with a quick handshake out front of the cafe.
We said we would be in touch blah, blah, blah. I remember I never got a thank you for picking up lunch or a text to even thank me. I’m not sure I should have expected that. I was pretty ignorant when it came to dating etiquette. After all it had been over 35 years since my last one. I might just be a little rusty. Actually make that crusty. I never texted or spoke to her again.
That left a sour taste in my mouth and I decided I wasn’t really ready to start dating so I shut it down.
In the interim there was a friend I had stayed in touch with over the years from my time working in Philadelphia. She worked in the graphics area and was and still is an amazing artist. We always got along well and enjoyed the same stupid sense of humor. Honestly there was never anything sexual between us. She was one of those woman that would make you feel like you were hanging out with one of your guy friends. Only much better looking.
We began to spend some time together on a couple of weekends and we enjoyed each others company. It was strange however, because now there was an underlying sexual tension that was developing, but really wasn’t talked about. Actually, I take that back. It was sort of spoken about in the form of some very awkward but honest joking about anything happening.
I really don’t want to get into details here and some of the things that occurred or didn’t occur that seemed like they were going to occur. Never mind. That’s for the book too. I’m not trying to make anyone else uncomfortable and some of the stories would involve me wanting to get the approval of others before publicly expressing it.
One quick funny story I will include about that person however involved a New Years Eve. She was going to be alone, as was I, and she suggested I drive down to her place for the night and spend the Eve with her. She cooked a fantastic dinner and we watched the fireworks from her balcony.
That’s not the point of this story. I also took my dog Charles with me to stay as I was still really taking care of him at this time, plus I loved his company. That little stumpy legged hair ball got me through many, many tough days and nights.
However, one thing about Charles is that he tends to be possessive and likes to be the Alpha in the room. My son and I have had some success in breaking that down a bit, but when it came to the presence of new people around us, he had to make a statement.
That statement usually came by, for lack of a better word, humping them in some fashion. Now Charles was neutered, but the action of humping at this point was more of dominance and a control objective.
So the person I was with on New Years Eve and myself were looking out the window at the sky and the beautiful view. Charles of course had to join us, so he jumped up on her back and began humping her shoulder and trying to get to her head, I kid you not, he had done it once before to a friend of mine while he leaned against the end of the pool.
I will leave you with the funniest or grossest part of this story. He not only was humping her, but finished off by peeing on her. Disgusting, but hilarious at the same time. To speak to the sweet person she was, she really took it in stride and didn’t freak out. It might have put a damper(pardon the pun) on any romance for the night, but it lives in both of our memories freshly today.
The bottom line was the geographical distance and the friendship we had and still have today, was too much to overcome, I believe for either one of us to make this into a romantic relationship. Plus how many times can you accept getting peed on.
So now what? I guess I would try dating someone I didn’t know again and see how that goes. This next one was a pip to say the least and I believe I got a sign from above to help steer me. Each one of these is a bit emotionally draining to write as I’m talking about some very personal things. However, at the same time I’m trying to protect other peoples privacy.
I really just want to tell the story so people who are in my shoes, or considering trying to find someone, can get an idea of what can happen, what you thought would happen and how ultimately you have to stay in control of where you think you need to be going.
Next up….the dating of the “crazy” one.
Sunshine Always!!
