The Longest Date Finale….Sort Of…

So where was I? Oh yes….the crazy date. If you need to catch up take a look at my two blogs about dating that can be found by clicking on the past blogs section

So while my date continued to chat away with someone across the room, the guys who invited us to their table continued to entertain me.

We actually got into some deep conversation, as of course we had plenty of time to do so. As I was talking about what the last few years of my life were like, the conversation led to being able to contact those that have passed on. They told me they have this amazing psychic in Time Square that they see every time they are in town. They wanted me to see her to maybe give me some connection and peace in my life to the losses I had experienced. At this point I was half way sold on the idea, but I have to say these two guys also had my BS detector going off.

As I went to go find my so called date again, they were going to go to their rooms before heading to the psychic, I was intercepted by this very enthusiastic fan of the show. She was celebrating a birthday on the rooftop bar and she wanted to take some pictures. Of course I agreed and that was followed by my FaceTiming her mom who was in a nursing home, but apparently even a bigger fan. It was really a sweet moment in the middle of what was a very strange uncomfortable date.

Of course in the midst of this, someone suddenly made her way across the room as she noticed I was getting attention. It was getting close to the time we should be leaving for our dinner reservation at the Jazz restaurant. Of course I was still debating bailing out and going with the guys to the psychic, but I still wanted to be a gentleman…..at this point.

So we regrouped at the table, the guys had already left. I told her they were expecting me to meet them in the lobby in a few minutes. She waved her hand dismissively, “we’re not doing that”!

So again, I stupidly acquiesced . As we were heading out of the hotel the doorman said hello to my date and then she started a rather animated conversation about something that had happened when she was there a few nights earlier. I came over to introduce myself (she wasn’t going to do it) and I said hello and shook his hand. With that, she gave another dismissive wave to me as if I was bothering her conversation.

Well now, I’m done. Game over! Date over! Night over!

We started walking down the block to get a taxi, which in my mind is now going to be where I place her to go home by herself. As we are walking toward 6th Avenue I told her I don’t think this is going to work. She asked me what was wrong. Wrong? Where do I begin.

As I started this new chapter of my life I promised myself I would be more honest about my feelings. I would speak up if something was bothering me instead of just accepting and swallowing it. So I let her have it. I told her she was rude to me and dismissive. I was not going to accept that and I would prefer we just go our separate ways. As the words came out, it felt good to speak my mind and my feelings so honestly for a change.

Of course I did not get the reaction I was hoping for. She began to cry and make excuses. I don’t do well with a crying anyone, or tearful anything for that matter in terms of me staying strong. I fold like a cheap tent. She convinced me to continue with the date. Mistake number…. I lost count already.

We get in the cab and get to the restaurant and are seated facing center stage, perfect view of the live jazz trio. The level of the music is ideal to appreciate, yet still hold a pleasant conversation. The level of the table on the other hand was not so perfect. It wobbled slightly if you leaned on it a certain way. A slight bother, but not a big deal once you realized the type of leaning that caused it. Well, not a big deal to me, but there was someone else at the table remember.

She kept complaining about it. She would say it was unacceptable and she would never allow this in the restaurant she worked. I kept suggesting we ask for another table, but she would tell me to forget about it and then bring it up again two minutes later. Why didn’t I escape when I had my chance on the rooftop bar?

So the appetizers had arrived and we ordered a cheese board with some charcuterie. She suggested in a playful way we each make a little mouthful combining the various meats, cheeses, crackers and dips on the plate and feed it to each other with the person being fed closing their eyes. OK….this could be cute fun in it’s own way.

I believe she fed me first and I said that it was an interesting combination and I enjoyed it. I fed her and of course it was met with a litany of negative comments of why it didn’t work, what I should have used instead etc. At this point I’m hoping I choke on a cracker and get out of there.

Now it’s time to order the main course and she decides to order the branzino for two. Odd choice because she told me she wanted steak, hence my choosing this place known for its steaks. In addition, the restaurant she works in and I frequent is well known for its branzino. In my opinion, the best in town consistently. I’m thinking why would order something you can get where you work, and know how good it is, at another restaurant.

Again, I let her have her way. As we are listening to the music and chatting she is getting a little more flirtatious. So now, with a bit more wine in me, I’m hoping maybe it was just some early in the date jitters and apprehension I was experiencing. Insert buzzer sound….WRONG!!!!

The fish comes to the wobbly table and is fillet and plated in front of us with the accompanying sides. She takes one bite and throws the knife and fork down into the plate, actually startling the jazz trio on stage. She grabs her napkin and spits out the piece of fish into it while shoving my plate away from me and covering it with my napkin.

She starts yelling how “the fish is bad, don’t eat it, you’ll be sick”. I tasted it, while it wasn’t as good as the Greek restaurant she worked in, it was fine. This is then followed by her trying to get me to kiss her, in between her texting someone on the phone. At this point I’m back to get me the hell out of here mode.

The texting continues while we ordered a dessert and an after dinner drink which was now on the house due to her complaining of the fish(which we were not charged for either). I finally asked her who she was texting and she said it was some guy from Spain who was in the U.S Tennis Open for a couple of weeks. The players stay at the hotel nearby the restaurant and they met her there I presumed a couple of times. She said they wanted her to come to a party at a hotel in Times Square. Perfect. Here’s my out. I told her, “why don’t you go?” I said I would walk her there safely and then I could be a free man. So I thought.

I got the check and paid as quickly as I could and we began walking toward Times Square and her tennis player from Spain party. I didn’t say much on the walk as I didn’t think there was anything that could be said. This date spoke for itself.

As we got to the corner where I was going to go my way and her to the party, she turned and looked at me and said she wanted to stay with me and then began kissing me. Excuse me, but WTF???!!! She’s just so unstable. At this point I’ve committed in my head to this being a joke and I’m just going to have fun with it, however it ends up.

So I asked her “what do you want to do?” She suggested we go back to the restaurant where she works. I’m not sure why someone on her one day off from work wants to spend so much time where she works…..but OK. It was a good 20 block walk to the restaurant and no, that did not go uneventfully either.

As we are walking through the packed streets of midtown Manhattan, like in typical pre-Covid days, she randomly blurts out to me that she has ” a magic vagina”. Uhhhh…….ummmmmm…..ok then……….. As if that wasn’t enough as we are waiting at a corner for the light to change she asks two, probably tourist middle age women, if they have magical vaginas. I let it pass for a minute or two and then being in the science and news business I asked, ” what makes it so magical?” Her head whipped around to face me and she said “how dare you ask me about my vagina?!!” I said, “well you were the one who brought it up….not me.” If the cuckoo bell sound effect could have gone off it was blaring in my head at this point.

The good news was that walking to the restaurant was also walking me closer to my apartment and my final escape. Once again…..so I thought.

We keep walking and her next topic in her words…. ” balls!! What good are they? Why do men need them?” I have to be honest, at this point I’m looking for cameras. I’m not worthy of being punk’d, but boy do I feel like I’m being set up on some reality show.

My response to her was that she had a son and without them he wouldn’t be here. Oddly her answer to that (or maybe not so odd) was, ” well my husband only had one ball”. OMG…..too much information. When is this going to end. The conversation went onto grooming down there, I will spare you the details. However, once again, going for the shock value she asked to random strangers, young men on the street, if they shave down there. I’m not making this up. “True story”, as Jay Leno would say.

So I’m going to wrap this up and probably leave out a few more details. The night didn’t end there. We went back to the restaurant and had more wine which was followed by the owner of the restaurant taking us to another rooftop bar after she closed up. Another round of her flirting with other guys there, then playing a cat and mouse game with her boss of not letting it look like we are really on a date.

At this point I’m fried. I have been up since work, about 2:30AM and now it’s 1 AM the next day. Quick ending is, I got her home, enduring a few more comments in which I did let her know at the end of the night were offensive and emasculating to me and I don’t take that in silence anymore.

In summary, as crazy as this date was, it gave me a hint of what the dating world could be like at this point in my life. Maybe I should just find a cave and call it a life.

Little did I know what was coming my way from the ashes of my past. What joy and rebirth and discovery was awaiting me in the heart and soul of someone I had already known for over a decade. You already know a lot of that story. I’m sure I will write in more detail about how we got to where we are today. Not that this relationship with Edmi didn’t come with growing pains….but at least she doesn’t blurt out to strangers about having any magical body parts.

Stay safe….stay well…until next time….Sunshine Always!

Click on the link below for all of the Chris & Edmi’s Kitchen Segments

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC98CMTNkVtD2TUDSiAz_4JQ/videos?view_as=subscriber