Less Yelling…..More Listening

I’ve really tried very hard to avoid political issues in this blog as that was not my intent at the onset of its creation. I have talked about various social issues and behavior, for the most part, I am coming from that perspective once again in this blog.

I don’t need to go into any detail to reiterate just how difficult the last several months have been due to this pandemic. Some are suffering more than others. The source of the pains and struggles range anywhere from the direct impact of the virus and illness to loss of loved ones. Others lives are falling apart economically and many of us are dealing with depression, anxiety and fear.

So in the midst of all of this, there has been a resurgence of something this country in particular has been battling like a lingering disease, racism. It never really went away, it just gets buried or surpressed at various times in the social discourse of our lives.

So we have had a couple of tragic and ugly incidences with the police and black men. Anytime something that seems like an act of injustice takes place, it’s a sad day for this country as well as mankind. We are often still rather ignorant, self serving beings, thinking we know right from wrong on all things.

The fallout from these events still leaves me scratching my head sometimes. I see protests in the wake of what happens, often peaceful, but too often violent, angry and destructive.

This I don’t understand. I often feel some use the excuse of protest to perpetuate and channel their anger and frustrations in their own lives or situations and vent it in a very destructive manner. I don’t think I even have to voice my opinion any further on this type of behavior, it speaks for itself and doesn’t accomplish anything positive.

That being said, some of the so called legitimate responses to these ugly police actions, in the end, accomplish little to nothing. The over the top reaction to defund and tear apart police departments in response seems dramatic and foolish. Sure there are bad cops. There are bad doctors and lawyers and teachers and counselors, shall I go on? However, there are many many good men and women representing their respective police forces across this country. They are prideful people who devote their time on the job to serve and protect the rest of us. It just makes no sense to vilify all for the actions of so few.

The bad apples have to go. There is no place for bigotry anywhere, let alone on a police force. However, history of man shows that prejudices sadly have existed probably since the first cavemen made fun of another for having more or less hair than they did. While I’m trying to lighten the mood here with that, it just speaks to the reality of human behavior. So with all of this said…..

Is protesting really productive in accomplishing anything in this issue?

I certainly saw the value of protests in the difficult times of the 60’s, particularly in the South where old ideals were still being clung to by too many people. Things needed to change and laws needed to be rewritten.

Equal rights issues were at stake and the brave black men and women who marched into the firestorm to change things should be praised and revered for what they accomplished. The U.S. government was forced to change things. No more back of the bus…..no more blacks not welcome signs….no more separate water fountains and bathrooms.

However this time around, things are different. We are not trying to change laws but to change social behavior and thinking. This I feel requires more understanding and finesse on both sides of the issue. This is why I really don’t see protesting as the best way to change things. In fact, I think overall it’s doing more harm than good. I’m sure some people might get tweaked by what I’m saying, but hear me out.

As far as I can see, too many protests that have gone on have led to violence in various parts of cities around the country leaving them destroyed or boarded up. I know several protests have been peaceful, but again I ask what have they accomplished?

I know some people feel good about themselves because they are getting involved in some social injustice and marching along side the suppressed. That’s your choice, but again I think your energy and time would be better spent in other ways. I don’t think baseball players running on a field and bowing their heads and then leaving and not playing in protest accomplishes anything. This includes basketball, football, hockey or any group of athletes or artists or celebrities making a statement of protest by not doing what they get paid to do.

If we really need to have attention drawn to the existence of racism by these forms of protest, I’m not sure where you’ve been. This didn’t just begin to happen. It’s an ugly seed of human behavior that gets planted in most cases early in life. That’s the first place where these things can truly be changed.

I grew up in a home where my parents never made an issue of race in any way. Never heard ugly slurs like the N-word or anything else derogatory about another person because of their race or religion. I did hear about people who were not good. People who stirred trouble and broke the law or harmed others. That had nothing to do with race but behavior. If you’re white and you kill someone or you’re black and you kill someone, you are still a murderer.

I’m not sure if you’ve gotten this far, you might be asking ok smart guy, what do you think would be the better approach to this problem now that you’ve thrown cold water on the concept of protesting?

In conversation with a friend recently, he said, “we have to stop yelling past each other.”

I thought, that’s so true. We are yelling and protesting and the other side yells and pushes back. However, what’s missing? Neither side is really LISTENING!!!! We are not talking to each other and in a conversation. We are just spouting two separate monologues and nobody is really listening to understand the other sides perspective.

We should be trying to get our police forces to understand the communities they protect and its’ people and their concerns. Not pointing fingers at ALL police and accusing them of being evil and corrupt. I think we know that’s not true. However, when protests begin and people start getting into a mob mentality then logic goes out the window.

Every community in this country should be finding a way to train their police in some type of sensitivity course and create boundaries in which they can use various forms of force on perpetrators. We can not disarm them from being able to take the bad guys off the street, but we can let them know there are boundaries, and if inappropriately crossed, suspension or dismissal will occur.

On the other side, I think we need to create community gatherings to let the people voice their concerns about the police, but also just as importantly, listen to the side of the police that are trying to protect them.

When we look each other in the eye and speak from a place of honesty, you might be surprised the strides toward change that can be made. Both sides have some issues here. This is not a one sided story, although most of the media would make you think that.

I just think that the protests, especially those that get the most attention, are fueling the flames of hate and distrust and creating more divisiveness. We need to stop. Breathe. Then approach each other knowing we both have some valid points to make. It will start in small groups in each community and needs to be a continuing ongoing discussion. It’s not easy and will take time and effort. But seriously, if there is someone out there that can show me what type of progress has been made during this round of protests, please show me the light.

I’m not saying people should say nothing and ignore. However, there are more peaceful ways of doing this. Quite frankly my disappointment in local government officials is what disturbs me the most. For the most part they only feed the division. A mayor or governor or local congress person cannot be taking sides. They need to create plans to come together. So far all I see is failure to do this.

This will lead to more chaos on the streets of our cities as police are much more guarded about doing their jobs. The dregs of society will think they have cart blanche to do what they want. I don’t know about you, but that doesn’t seem like the answer.

I think it’s time we regroup and try a less destructive answer to such a sensitive issue. If protesting was the answer, it should be fixed by now. It’s still broken. We rebuild, and heal and learn one community at a time.

Thank you for listening….I hope if anything this creates some discussion amongst us all. I hope we have the ability to see the light in commonality. We get things done together, not apart. It’s OK to be different……..it’s not OK to hate because of it.

Sunshine Always!!!!